Saturday, August 24, 2013

BEN AFFLECK IS BATSHIT!!!!!!!!

WORST. BATMAN. EVER.
Look at him. He's not Christian Bale!



      Now, this may look to you respected Oscar-winning writer/director/actor Ben Affleck. But it's not. It's Satan. Satan has been hired to play Batman in the super epic amazing awesomefest supreme Batman Vs. Superman. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!! I mean, just look at him. His casting could potentially mean a lot of things. Like how Warner Bros. might be taking critics advice and making a lighter tone for the second Man of Steel movie by casting a more well-known actor. BUT THAT'S STUPID!!!!! As a fan of the franchise ever since Christopher Nolan invented superhero movies, I know everything that's right about everything. Things shouldn't be lighter. Only Bale can make Batman sound like he's talking directly into a jet engine and constantly keep his mouth wide open. Affleck is SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can't act. Have you seen Gigli? Or Buffy the Vampire Slayer? WORST. ACTOR. EVER. He was in Daredevil, a perfect superhero film ruined only by his presence. And only his presence. I mean, it's been ten years, but he couldn't have changed. I haven't changed at all. I still live at home with my mommy, I still write my blog about why Batman: TAS Season Four is the worst thing ever and I'm still a virgin. Exactly where I was ten years ago. Therefore, he's exactly as good as he was ten years ago. IT'S SCIENCE!!!!! Sure, he might have made little movies like The Town and Argo that won Oscars and this could mean that he could be directing Justice League or the solo Batman movies, but I mean, they're not Batman movies, so they don't count. They we're lame. I mean, ever since The Dark Knight didn't win all the Oscars, the Oscars have been stupid. Plus, those movies sucked. Maybe if Christopher Nolan directed them, they would have been could. I mean, drama? Really? LAME!!!!!!!!!!!! And he's just not man enough for Batman. It's like if the hired someone who starred in a musical about newspaper boys to play Batman. THAT'D BE SHAMEFUL!!!!! I still say that Christian Bale should play Batman, Superman AND Wonder Woman in the new movie. Hell, he's should just play every character ever. I know that there is a White House-directed petition to get him out of the role, but that doesn't go far enough. I say we should make a petition to get him off this planet. As you can clearly see, I'm right, deal with it loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

  1. Isn't BA older than Bale? Is nick cage playing supes?

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    Replies
    1. Only by a few years. And no, Nic Cage won't be getting a second chance at playing Superman?

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  2. The Undefined GamerAugust 26, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    This'll be interesting. Cavill vs. Affleck.

    Hopefully the new Batman will actually try to respect the comic cannon a bit. Granted, there are tons of Batman timelines due to DC's multiple Universes making it impossible to have any one true Batman cannon, but several things, down to Bane and the Joker's origin story and the widely accepted four main Robins (Robin... was never a cop) really shouldn't have been changed in the movies. While the Dark Night Trilogy may have been a stellar movie trilogy, it never quite felt "Batman" enough for me. I don't know if it was whether some characters never quite got to be as fleshed out as they should've, or because my vision of Batman was sculpted from shows like "Batman: The Animated Series," and "The Batman."

    Overall, I think this new Batman is neessary, just as Spider-man's reboot was, not because the previous series was crap, rather because it just didn't represent the source materaial well enough.

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