Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween 2011: "The Wolf Man"

    As we wrap up on Halloween 2011, I chosen to do my final Halloween review on one of not just my favorite Halloween films, but one of my favorite films of all time: The Wolf Man. No, not the 2010 version. The classic 1941 film that is still the best portrayal of werewolves yet. So, what makes this groundbreaker so great? Let's find out. Warning. There's some bad spoilers on the rise. This is a spoiler warning.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

2011-2012 TV Season Review: Week 6

The Walking Dead- "Bloodletting"- 6 out of 6
Once Upon a Time- "Pilot"- 5 out of 6 (Fun with a great cast)
How I Met Your Mother- "Noretta"- 5 out of 6
Castle- "Demons"- 5 out of 6
Psych- "This Episode Sucks"- 5 out of 6
The Big Bang Theory- "The Good Guy Fluctuation"- 5 out of 6
Community- "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"- 4 out of 6
The Mentalist- "Where In The World is Carmine O'Brian?"- 5 out of 6
Chuck- "Chuck Vs. The Zoom"- 5 out of 6 (New changes work well)
Grimm- "Pilot"- 5 out of 6- (Cool concept, executed well)
Supernatural- "Slash Fiction"- 6 out of 6

Week Overview:
Supernatural and The Walking Dead both tie for best episode of the week. Supernatural was the best of the season so far, while The Walking Dead had it's best episode since the Pilot. All good episode this week, but Community's decent Halloween offer is weakest.

Best Moments:
- Lori takes charge on The Walking Dead.

- Psych's vampire costumes.

- Intersect Morgan is pretty cool.

Worst Moments:
- Walking Dead's kid surgery scene was kinda hard to watch.

TV News:
- Baseball makes TV schedule go crazy. Wait, people watch Baseball that much?

- Kaley Cuoco will host the next People's Choice Awards. Wait, people still vote for that?

- Charlie Sheen will return to TV with FX's Anger Management. Wait, people still watch Charlie Sheen?

Starting This Week:
- The Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs- (Food Network, Sundays)
- Glee- (Fox, Tuesday)
- New Girl- (Fox, Tuesday)
- Raising Hope- (Fox, Tuesday)
- Top Chef: Texas- (Bravo, Wednesdays)
- Bones- (Fox, Thursday)

See you later

Halloween 2011: "Frankenstein" Review

    The classics. The favorite movie monsters of film. Dracula. The Wolfman. The Creature From the Black Lagoon. All of these characters have stood the test of time to become cinema classic. But, what about Frankenstein's Monster? Does the 1931 film Frankenstein stand the test of time? Let's find out. Warning. Spoilers After This Point.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Halloween 2011: "Jason X" Review

    Slashers. One of the quintessential movie genres to be watched during Halloween. In the past we've had nightmares, serial killing Shatners and lots and lots of Saw. But of all the slashers, perhaps none are more iconic then Friday the 13th's own Jason Voorhees. The classic Camp Crystal Lake killer has made a ton of movies. So, what do you do with an iconic summer camp killer for his new movie? Why, shoot him into space of course! This is Jason X.

Halloween 2011: Chapmaniac Crossover "Fred 2"

As part of Halloween 2011, here's my friends, The Chapmaniac's review of the Fred 2 trailer.

Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Trailer Review
    Don't you all remember a failed little movie named Fred? Of course
not! If you're like me, you're just going on and pretending this
little failure doesn't exist. Well, guess what? Something magical
happened last year. Fred made enough money to make a sequel. And based
off of the trailers I've seen, it's WORSE than the original. Oh god.
Grab your pepper spray, guys. The trailers themselves actually, in my
opinion, make Fred more annoying than he already is if that's
possible, and rip off unfunny Vampires Suck jokes. Yep, that's right
folks, Fred 2 has ripped off the lowest form of life. Why? Why?
    Well, I'll tell you. Mad (the horrendous TV show) made a spoof if
Twilight with Fred, because as we all know Terrible Movie + Terrible
Movie = Funny Spoof, right? Well, it should've, but with no adult
humor, it's just offensive and unfunny, sort of like the Irate Gamer.
Come on guys, you know it's true!
    So basically it seems Fred liked it, god knows why, and decided to
build a terrible Halloween-themed movie about it. Well, at least he
picked the right holiday for it, for this movie is likely to be so bad
it's scary. How bad? Well Fred 1 was at Human Centipede level for
reviews, so I predict Fred 2 will be even below that. Guys, stop
giving 1 Star movies sequels.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Halloween 2011: "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" Review

    Welcome to Day 2 of Halloween 2011! So after yesterday's Dreamworks review, I thought to myself, "Gee, those were fun, but they just weren't scary." So today, I'm going to review something scary that is synonymous with Halloween: a musical!
    The Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of, if not the, most popular "midnight movies" (movie played at midnight) and is one of the long-played movies of all time. It's still in theater to this very day. But is it good? Let's find out.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Halloween 2011: "Dreamworks Spooky Stories" Review

   With Halloween just five day away, I decided to do something special for the holiday. And what's more special then five straight days of Halloween reviews. Starting today and ending on Monday, Halloween night, I will release 5 Halloween related reviews. So, let's kick of Halloween 2011 with Dreamworks Spooky Stories.
    A special Halloween DVD release, Dreamworks Spooky Stories is a collection of three Halloween related TV and Direct-to-DVD specials based of of Dreamworks Animations characters.
    The first story is Scared Shrekless, an anthology of three parodies of famous horror movie done with Shrek characters. The connecting story is that Shrek, Donkey, Puss In Boots and Gingy all go to Lord Farquaads supposedly haunted castle to see who can last the longest without getting sacred. This part of the special does have it's funny moments, however the jokes are mostly predictable (save for a funny remake of the "Welcome to Duloc" song from the first movie).
    Gingy's story is a spoof of not only The Bride of Frankenstein, but also zombie movies. The Bride of Gingy follow Gingy as he has the Muffin Man make him a wife who starts to smother him. The story is the weakest of the three, as it has very little to do with The Bride of Frankenstein. It also is pretty predictable and only kinda funny. It's really just a time waster.
    Puss and Donkey's story, Boots Motel, follows, you guessed it, Puss and Donkey checking into a motel with a psycho in it. Again, this story has very little to do with the movie it's spoofing. However, it is very funny, with Puss and Donkey fight constantly ramping up as the story goes. The climax that involves a giant waffle and spray bottles of water is hysterical.
    The third and final story, The Shreksorist, follows Shrek as he babysits a "possessed child". The best of the three, the story is a good parody of the The Exorcist and is very funny in it own right. Overall, Scared Shrekless is not a Halloween classic, as the story don't all hit their mark, but it is a mostly enjoyable bit of Halloween worth checking out. It's 4 out of 6.
    The second story really has no purpose being here. The Ghost of Lord Farquaad (or Shrek 4-D repackaged) follows Fiona getting kidnapped by Lord Farquaad's ghost and Shrek and Donkey racing to save her. This was obviously a cash-in when it was Shrek 4-D and it's still a cash-in today. The short film is way too lame to be really enjoyable. The jokes were all done better if the other movies, the story is rushed and stupid and the characters are all poorly written.  For example, immediately after Fiona is kidnapped Shrek yells at Donkey for making a joke and not rushing to save her. But, just a few minutes later, while Fiona is still kidnapped mind you, Shrek goes out of his way to play a trick on Donkey just for fun. Can't you just tell we're dealing with people who worked hard on this story? Overall, The Ghost of Lord Farquaad is a lame, unnecessary bore. It's 2 out of 6.
    The third and final Halloween tale included is Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space. If you (like me) loved the original movie then this is going to be a very welcome edition to any regular Halloween viewing. The story follow the monsters as they face off against mutant pumpkins that are eating a town's Halloween candy. It might sound goofy, but trust me, it is. And it is great. Once again the characters are very funny and the short captures the spirit of Halloween and B-Movies very well. Though Susan does get shoved to the side most of the time. Overall, Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space is a very fun short film that will get you into instantly Halloween spirit. It is 6 out of 6.
    In the end, how much you want to buy Dreamworks Spooky Stories (or watch it on Netflix Instant) depends on how much you liked the previous movies. Of the two Shrek tales, Scared Shrekless is a mildly amusing offering, while The Ghost of Lord Farquaad is really lame. Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space, however is a lot of fun and perfect for Halloween. Overall, Dreamworks Spooky Stories is 4.5 out of 6. Now if you'd excuse me, I have to do the Time Warp again.

Monday, October 24, 2011

2011-2012 TV Season Review: Week 5

The Walking Dead- "What Lies Ahead"- 5 out of 6- (Great show, great episode, though a bit too long)
How I Met You Mother- "Mystery Vs. History"- 4 out of 6
Terra Nova- "The Runaway"- 5 out of 6
Castle- "Eye of the Beholder"- 5 out of 6
Man Up- "Pilot"- 2 out of 6 (Not very funny)
Psych- "Last Night Gus"- 6 out of 6
The Big Bang Theory- "The Rhinitis Revelation"- 4 out of 6
Supernatural- "Shut Up, Dr. Phil"- 4 out of 6

Best Moments:
- The absolutely shocking ending to the premiere of The Walking Dead.

-Literally, EVERYTHING about this week's Psych. One of the shows best.

- Sam and Dean playing couples councillor to a pair of witches.

Worst Moments:
- Kal Penn is not a good edition to HIMYM.

- Man Up. Just Man Up.

Week Overview:
Overall, while not a really remarkable week over all Psych wins the award this week for best episode. (The Walkind Dead a firm second.) The worst of the week was wasily the lame and unfunny Man Up.

TV News:
- Charlie Sheen doesn't like the new Two and a Half Men. I don't know why. It's exactly the same without him. Lame and the same every week.

- The Punisher could be getting his own show on Fox. Sound cool, but remember what happened to the entertaining Human Target?

- Top Chef: Just Desserts had a contestant who was arrested for child pornography. Bravo's background checks are just the tops.

- They are bringing Fear Factor back to TV. Hurray?

Starting This Week:
- Once Upon a Time- (ABC, Sunday, 8)
- Chuck- (NBC, Friday, 8)
-Grimm- (NBC, Friday, 9)

See you later

Monday, October 17, 2011

In Dullest Day, In Dumbest Night: "Green Lantern" Review

                        SPOILER WARNING. THAT IS ALL.
    A while back while talking about X-Men: First Class, I said that movie franchises can be a tricky thing to do. Sometimes, if they go on too long, they can become stale and boring. Sometimes, thanks to poor box office numbers, good franchises don't get a chance to start. Then there are the franchises that don't get a chance to make it past the first movie because they suck from right out of the gate.
    Green Lantern showcases what happens if no one making the movie really bothers to try. Sure, the actors are working with what their given, but what their given isn't much more than a copy of several better superhero movies like Spider-Man and Batman and then being told to do something like that.
    Ryan Reynolds start as Hal Jordan AKA the newest member of the intergalactic piece keeping organization called The Green Lantern Corp. Given a ring that allows him to create anything he thinks up in his mind, Hal becomes a superhero. Naturally. Blake Lively stars as his love interest, Peter Saarsgard is the villain and Mark Strong play a fellow Green Lantern member.
    What kills Green Lantern almost right out of the starting gate is the lazy screenplay. The writers clearly don't have a single creative bone their FOUR bodies. (Yes, four people wrote this crap) The film starts with a big loud voice pretty much reading the text off of a text scroll that isn't really there. From that point on the movie sets it's tone of laziness and boredom. The film can even get it's own characters right. Lively's Carol Ferris at first seems to hate Hal's everything, but soon she has a heel-face turn and is 100% in love with him. Several character disappear after get thrown into windows (she had to have survived) and other just appear out of no where.
    The film's story doesn't fare much better. Hal leaves to go train with other Lanterns and when he comes back to Earth... nothing really happens. Seriously. He saves a party. Talks with Carol. Stops a bad guy. Talks with Carol. Fights the same bad guy again. Talks with Carol. Fights a different bad guy. Talks with Carol. The end. See a pattern? The film focuses way to much on the bland character development and doesn't bother to tells us about the superhero story it has.
    Plus, the special effects are some of the worst in a long time. In fact, Hal's mask might just better the worst special effect of the decade. The time the movie can really shine is when Hal uses the unlimited ring of power and yet it still sucks. All Hal (and the writers) can think to do are make Hot Wheels tracks and big fists. I mean, the big bad guy everyone says is the worst possible thing in the universe is defeated... after Hal punches him with a really big fist. How's that for creativity?
    Green Lantern may not be the worst film of this year (Transformers 3 can keep the crown). But it's certantly the laziest. The story is underdeveloped, the characters are bland, the action isn't creative and the special effects just suck. The only thing in the movie thats passible is the acting. Overall, Green Lantern sucks.
              GREEN LANTERN GETS A 2 OUT OF 6.

See you later.

PS. I know it was in the comics, but Sinestro's yellow ring scene during the credits makes no sense what so ever.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

2011-2012 TV Season: Week 4

How I Met Your Mother- "Field Trip"- 4 out of 6
Terra Nova- "What Remains"- 5 out of 6
Castle- "Kick The Ballistics" 6 out of 6
Last Man Standing- "Pilot"- 3 out of 6- (Tim Allen gives it his all, but the show just isn't funny enough.)
Psych- "Shaun Rescues Darth Vader"- 5 out of 6- (One of the best shows on TV gets off to a good start.)
The Big Bang Theory- "The Russian Rocket Reaction"- 3 out of 6
Community- "Remedial Chaos Theory"- 6 out of 6
The Mentalist- "Ring Around the Rosie"- 6 out of 6
A Gifted Man- "In Case of Separation Anxiety"- 5 out of 6
Supernatural- "Defending Your Life"- 4 out of 6

Best Moments:
- Seamus Dever preformance this week on Castle is seriously Emmy-worthy.

-Psych's return featured two great moments: Shaun and the lie detector and the kid who loves the Star Wars prequels.

- Community. That is all.

Worst Moments:
- Am I the only one getting sick of Howard and Bernedette of The Big Bang Theory?

- Supernatural missed out on some possibly great moments by have Dean not tell sam about Amy.

News Stories:
- Fox has pushed Glee, New Girl and Raising Hope off the air until November for Baseball. Not really a big deal, but I don't like sports so not what am I suppose to watch on Tuesdays?

- ABC has cancelled the new (and awful) Charlie's Angles. Sorry angles, you won't be missed.

What to Watch:
- The Walking Dead on Sunday at 9 on AMC

See you later

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Short Stuff Worth Talking About

- The Avengers Trailer. I don't remember my reaction because I had passed out after the first couple seconds. After watching 12 more times I can safely say, it is good.

- The next Die Hard movie is going to be called A Good Day to Die Hard and come out Valentine's Day 2013. So far, I like that title a lot. It sounds cool. Or it sounds like the newest James Bond movie. Speaking of James Bond...

- Javier Bardem was annoucned this week as the villain for Bond 23 which is pretty cool. Also, the possible titles for the new movie include the awful Carte Blanche and the really cool Skyfall. I wonder which one they'll go with...

- The sequel to the awesome Taken, titled Taken 2 (What did you think it was going to be titled?), will be released on October 5, 2012. It will follow the Liam Neeson's family gets taken hostage... again.

- The sequel to the Percy Jackson movie, which I actually liked, is going to be released on March 27, 2013. It's titled Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

"Drive" Stupid

    Ok, so I don't like to call people I don't know names, but sometimes what they do is just too stupid to ignore. That a woman in Michigan for instance who is suing the distributors of the movie Drive because the movie was too smart for her. I'm not kidding. She's suing because the trailers looked like The Fast and The Furious and the actual movie was nothing like that.
    Now, this would all just be fun and games, if it wasn't for the fact that some idiot lawyers actually took the case. If this case somehow miraculously wins, that could spell a whole lot of trouble for good movies out there. If the case wins, then movie producers might start thinking, "Gee, if people are getting sued for NOT making a movie where two cars pull a bank vault behind it, then maybe I should only make those movies."
    Now, don't get me wrong. Liking The Fast and the Furious does not make you stupid. Suing people because the movie you where watching was nothing like The Fast and the Furious is. How she managed to see the trailer and not a single plot synopsis, review, interview or news story about the movie is something I find extremely fishy. Next time she should make sure to research the movie she is seeing. I wouldn't want her to walk into J. Edgar later this year think that, because Leonardo DiCaprio's in it, it must be Inception.

See you later.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

2011-2012 TV Season: Week 3

Now, I know my blog has sorta been skimping out on the whole Cinema part of Cinema Won. This stems from two problems I have been facing. The first is that my workload for school has been slowly getting bigger over the last few weeks. Second is the fact that I put myself in the difficult position of having to do multiple posts about TV instead of movies. Now, I've hopefully fixed problem number two by, instead of three separate posts a week, I'll be putting everything TV related I have to talk about in one big end of the week post. This is one of those posts.

Scores: (Here I will say what out of six I will give the past weeks episode)
Pan Am- "We'll Always Have Paris"- 4 out of 6
Castle- "Head Case"- 4 out of 6
Warehouse 13- "Emily Lake/Stand"- 6 out of 6
Glee- "Asian F"- 4 out of 6
New Girl- "Wedding"- 6 out of 6
Raising Hope- "Kidnapped"- 4 out of 6
Raising Hope- "Henderson Nevada-Adjacent Baby! Henderson Nevada-Adjacent"- 6 out of 6
Community- "Competitive Ecology"- 5 out of 6
The Big Bang Theory- "The Wiggly Finger Catalyst"- 5 out of 6
Person of Interest- "Mission Creep"- 4 out of 6
The Mentalist- "Pretty Red Balloon"- 5 out of 6
Supernatural- "The Girl Next Door"- 5 out of 6

Best Moments: (Here I will list my favorite moments of the week. Also SPOILER ALERT!)

- I know they'll undo it quickly next season, but Warehouse 13 killing Mrs. Fredrick and destroying the warehouse is still a great ending.

- Mike Chang singing "Cool" was easily one of Glee's best musical numbers.

- The chicken-dance and the photobooth on New Girl.

- Burt and Jimmy trying to raise cash while in Las Vegas was hysterical.

- Dean's shocking killing at the end of this weeks new episode.

Worst Moments: (Spoiler Alert)

- Mr. Shue going R. Lee Ermey on Mercedes this week was way too out of character.

- Hey, wasn't there a baby on Raising Hope?

- Supernatural last week set up an episode about Sam and Dean in a hospital filled with monsters, and then just set it aside three minutes into this week's episode. That was weak.

Television News: (here I will talk about a few new stories from the past week)

- The first casualties of the season were announced this week as The Playboy Club, Free Agents and H8R were all cancelled due to low ratings. None of these shows are a loss though.

- How to Be a Gentleman got the kiss of death as it was moved to Saturdays. I can say I sorry to see this one go either.

- Arrested Development fans rejoice as it was reveled this week that plan were in the works to revive to series for a short ten-episode run, followed by a feature-film. However, this has not yet been confirmed.

- After several long disputes over the cast's pay this week, The Simpsons was able to stop a "near-cancellation" (like that would have happened). The series has been renewed for two more seasons.

What to Watch: (Here I will say my most-anticipated show for the next week)
- Psych returns Wendesday
- The Walking Dead returns Sunday

See you later

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

2011 TV Season: Monday 3

How I Met Your Mother- (8, CBS)- "The Stinson Missile Crisis": After the past couple of good episodes, it's only natural for a show to fall a little bit. This week Robin told a psychiatrist about why she assaulted a woman and Ted became too hands-on with Lily's pregnancy. This week felt like the stories were just two kinda-funny joke stretched out until it started to break. Some funny moments, but not many.

Favorite Part: Ted's flashbacks of him as a third wheel
Least-Favorite Part: Ted got really weird this episode
The Verdict: 3 out of 6

Terra Nova- (8, Fox)- "Instinct": This weeks episode follwed the colony as they tried to stop a group of dino-birds from going all The Birds on Terra Nova. This week's episode improved greatly on the premiere and while not perfect, the show is seemingly become what we all hoped it would be: fun and exciting.

Favorite Part: The fact that the show is Eureka in the prehistoric age. Think about it. Town filled with scientist suffers from a scientific screw-up and a street-smart, but not really book-smart guy saves the day. Sound familiar?
Least-Favorite Part: So, the son's all nice now?
The Verdict: 5 out of 6

See you later

P.S. So, The Playboy Club got cancelled. Gues the ratings couldn't get it up. Thank you, I'm be here all week.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

"Battlefield 3" Beta Thoughts

Today I downloaded the beta for the upcoming game Battlefield 3 and you know what. It's good. Really good.

It's manages to get the special blend of the right gameplay, weapons, maps, graphics and everything you need to be awesome just right, so that the whole experience leaves you wanting more. So, Battlefield 3, consider yourself bought.

See you later.

P.S. Still want Arkham City more though.

2011 TV Review: Thursday and Friday 2

The Big Bang Theory- (CBS, Thurs, 8)- "The Pulled Groin Extrapolation": This week had Leonard and Amy going to a wedding together while Howard and Bernadette stay with Howard's mother. Unfortunately, this week's episode couldn't live up to the last two, as both storyline fell equally flat. No jokes were really all that memorable and some felt like they've been done before.

Favorite Part: Sheldon really does care about Amy (I think)
Least-Favorite Part: Howard's mom's a little too unbelievable
The Verdict: 3 out of 6

Community- (NBC, Thurs, 8)- "Geography of Global Conflict": Thisew episode found Britta protesting because a friend of herself is being held hostage, while the rest of the group helps Annie start a Model UN. The Annie UN story was at times truely hilarious, however, the Britta protest story ultimately fell flat.

Favorite Part: Abed and "Earth 2"
Least-Favorite Part: Britta's protesting
The Verdict: 4 out of 6

Supernatural- (CW, Fri, 9, Returning)- "Meet the New Boss" and "Hello, Cruel World": After some computer problems last week, I am now able to review the Supernatural season premiere as well as the newest episode. Both episode were great and get the season off to a good start. The episode follow Sam, Dean and Bobby as the fight both God Castiel and the new Laviathans. Both equally creepy and exciting, if I had to pick which was better, I would go with "Hello, Cruel World". It was just more intense.

Favorite Parts: MTNB: "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"/ HCW: The Devil's back!
Least-Favorite Parts: MTNB: Cass's is fine at the end. Oh, wait no he' not/ HCW: Stupid cliffhangers!
The Verdicts: MTNB: 5 out of 6/ HCW: 6 out of 6

See you later

P.S. I didn't get a chance to review it, but seriously, A Gifted Man is the best new show. Period.