Monday, October 17, 2011

In Dullest Day, In Dumbest Night: "Green Lantern" Review

                        SPOILER WARNING. THAT IS ALL.
    A while back while talking about X-Men: First Class, I said that movie franchises can be a tricky thing to do. Sometimes, if they go on too long, they can become stale and boring. Sometimes, thanks to poor box office numbers, good franchises don't get a chance to start. Then there are the franchises that don't get a chance to make it past the first movie because they suck from right out of the gate.
    Green Lantern showcases what happens if no one making the movie really bothers to try. Sure, the actors are working with what their given, but what their given isn't much more than a copy of several better superhero movies like Spider-Man and Batman and then being told to do something like that.
    Ryan Reynolds start as Hal Jordan AKA the newest member of the intergalactic piece keeping organization called The Green Lantern Corp. Given a ring that allows him to create anything he thinks up in his mind, Hal becomes a superhero. Naturally. Blake Lively stars as his love interest, Peter Saarsgard is the villain and Mark Strong play a fellow Green Lantern member.
    What kills Green Lantern almost right out of the starting gate is the lazy screenplay. The writers clearly don't have a single creative bone their FOUR bodies. (Yes, four people wrote this crap) The film starts with a big loud voice pretty much reading the text off of a text scroll that isn't really there. From that point on the movie sets it's tone of laziness and boredom. The film can even get it's own characters right. Lively's Carol Ferris at first seems to hate Hal's everything, but soon she has a heel-face turn and is 100% in love with him. Several character disappear after get thrown into windows (she had to have survived) and other just appear out of no where.
    The film's story doesn't fare much better. Hal leaves to go train with other Lanterns and when he comes back to Earth... nothing really happens. Seriously. He saves a party. Talks with Carol. Stops a bad guy. Talks with Carol. Fights the same bad guy again. Talks with Carol. Fights a different bad guy. Talks with Carol. The end. See a pattern? The film focuses way to much on the bland character development and doesn't bother to tells us about the superhero story it has.
    Plus, the special effects are some of the worst in a long time. In fact, Hal's mask might just better the worst special effect of the decade. The time the movie can really shine is when Hal uses the unlimited ring of power and yet it still sucks. All Hal (and the writers) can think to do are make Hot Wheels tracks and big fists. I mean, the big bad guy everyone says is the worst possible thing in the universe is defeated... after Hal punches him with a really big fist. How's that for creativity?
    Green Lantern may not be the worst film of this year (Transformers 3 can keep the crown). But it's certantly the laziest. The story is underdeveloped, the characters are bland, the action isn't creative and the special effects just suck. The only thing in the movie thats passible is the acting. Overall, Green Lantern sucks.
              GREEN LANTERN GETS A 2 OUT OF 6.

See you later.

PS. I know it was in the comics, but Sinestro's yellow ring scene during the credits makes no sense what so ever.

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