Saying Battleship is based on the board game isn't quite correct. Sure the advertising and title want you to think so, but really they are just being used as excuses for director Peter Berg to make a big summer blockbuster based around the US Navy. And for what it's worth it's not a bad idea. I believe that any idea or property can, in the right hands and if given careful thought, be a great movie. So, making a movie off of a board game wasn't the worst idea. But when the trailers started to, well, suck, the entire world decided that Battleship was gonna suck too. And, for the most part, we were right.
The film follows tough-guy-rebel Hopper (Taylor Kitsch, having a really bad year), who is forced to join the Navy by his brother (Alexander Skarsgard) after getting arrested. After saying goodbye to his impossibly hot girlfriend Sam (Brooklyn Decker), he set out under the command of Sam's father (Liam Neeson) and works with his fellow crew (Jesse Plemons, Tadanobu Asano and Rihanna in her first acting role). While out at sea, aliens attack and the Navy has to save the day. The premise is wildly absurd and not even the good kind of absurd. It takes itself way too seriously, combining the Michael Bay-brand bad jokes and military fetishism, into one big serious mess.
However, the rest of the movie is the exact opposite. As cool as the Battleship scene was, it comes over an hour into the movie and what we are "treated" to before hand is pretty crappy. While Rihanna proves she can hold her own in a movie like this (And hopefully better movies), the rest of the cast are just okay and no one else really stands out. The action scenes are boring and the plot and writing is so laughably forced and silly it's kinda hard not to imagine if the filmmakers meant to parody the kind of summer blockbuster this movie is.
|Next up from Hasbro: Chinese Checkers!|
And with that, Cinema Won's 1st year anniversary review-athon comes to a close. Thanks for reading, and as always, there will be more to come.