"Mirror Mirror" Review

    This first of two Snow White movies this year. What a way to start us off. This is Mirror Mirror!

    Well, that went exactly as expected. A critic's job gets a lot easier when the problems of a movie can be seen in the trailer. I mean, every problem I had with this movie I knew would be a problem when I first saw the trailer. Mirror Mirror is not a good film. Not that you should be surprised. After all, this is the second movie I've reviewed in less than a week that commits the should-be crime of using narration only in the opening.
    Snow White (Lily Collins) is kept locked in her castle home by her evil stepmother The Queen (Julia Roberts) after her father, The King (Sean Bean) dies while hunting a mysterious beast. The Queen has run her kingdom into the ground by throwing lavish parties at the expensive of the villagers (Not that hard seeing as how there are only 10 of them), so she attempts to win over the rich Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) and marry him. However, when the Prince falls for Snow White, she she orders Snow to die. Snow escapes, where she meets the seven dwarves and vows to take back her kingdom.

I don't like where this is going...

    I think you would be hard pressed to find a sillier movie than was released this year. While, yes, sillier doesn't mean bad, if done poorly, silly can get very old, ver fast. Mirror Mirror gets very old, very fast. The cast is certainly trying. Mostly. Armie Hammer handles this career misstep quite well as does the one funny part of this movie, Nathan Lane. Lily Collins steals the show. She very charming and fun as Snow White and manages to rise above the rest of the film like Hammer and Lane. However, right smack-dab in the middle of the silly mess is Julia Roberts. Roberts is a fine actress that won an Oscar. You wouldn't know that here. She goes too over-the-top even for this movie. You want to see her get stopped not because you are invested in the story but because maybe then she'll finally shut up.
    Directer Tarsem Singh (Immortals) usually has a unique visual style that becomes the most memorable parts of his films. Not here however. The enchanted land the all takes place in look surprisingly cheap. Even the fake snow looks lame. The creativity has completely escaped from this film. It's probably in Mexico as we speak. Harry Potter had Hogwarts. Batman has Gotham. Avatar has Pandora. Mirror Mirror has generic fairy tall world #128.
    I'm not even really sure who Mirror Mirror is meant for. Maybe the only people who will really like it is maybe very little girls, but still, this movie tries so hard to get the adults involved that it comes off as a little desperate. So much was put into a movie that does really feel like anyone would want to watch. With a few re-casts and a more toned-down script, this movie could have worked.
   

And with that, the transfer of talent
is complete!

    I did not care for this movie. Literally. I think Mirror Mirror is one of the movies I cared the least about in a while. Defenately this year. It's not terrible and the cast, with the exception of the terrible Robert, tries their best. But I didn't care about any of the character or about any of the storylines. I didn't care about the jokes or the visuals or the costumes or the sets. I didn't care for the obligatory dance number that seems to be at the end of all kids movies now. I did not care about Mirror Mirror. And neither will you. Mirror Mirror gets 2 stars out of 6.