Monday, July 23, 2012

NEW SERIES: Movie Marathon: Series 1: Generation X

    This is the first of two new series on Cinema Won that I'm unveiling this month and unlike most of the "new series" I do, these ones are actually gonna get new episodes once and a while. In this series, Movie Marathon, I'll review every movie in a film series. They can all be in the same universe, all have the same actor or all be made by the same people. To kick things off, over the next couple weeks, we'll be taking a look at the X-Men series. Starting with the first one of course. This is Generation X! 

Note the quote at the bottom.
Is this an X-Men movie or
special on skin care?

    What's that? You've never heard of Generation X? First off, you're lucky. Second, let me give you a brief of a history lesson. Generation X is based off of the X-Men spin-off comic of the same name. The comic was meant to relate to the teenage audience. The movie was made so that Fox could make a TV series after it and pair it The X-Files. Get it? They would both have "X" in the title. But, the movie aired and no one gave a flying crap, so plans for the show were scrapped and the movie has left to be forgotten. Until YouTube came along that is.
    The plot of the film is an absolute mess, but here's the gist of it. Sean Cassidy AKA Banshee (Jeremy Ratchford) and Emma Frost (Finola Hughes) are teaching a group of young mutants at the Xavier School. Jubilee (Heather McComb) can shoot fireworks from her fingers. Skin (Agustin Rodriguez) has stretchy skin.  Refrax (Randall Salvin) shoots lazers from his eyes (Sound familiar?). Buff (Suzanne Davis) is super strong. Mondo (Bumper Robinson) is... super strong? M (Amarilis) is the "perfect mutant". They take a break from learning that the evil Dr. Tresh (Matt Frewer, AKA Taggart from Eureka) from becoming a mutant through... the power of dreams?

Is that Bono?
    Ya, there's a reason you've never heard of this one. But where to begin? The movie is very much a child of the nineties. The terrible attempts at using slang. The odd fashion of the characters (What school would let a student go out to a carnival wearing an open jacket and her bra?). The fact that very set makes use of neon lights. And that makes the mixed-up tone of the movie even worse. I'm just not sure who this movie was meant for. It's too hardcore for kids. Jubilee has a gratuitous nude scene. Tresh talks about mind-rape. Frost jokes about masturbation. I honestly never thought I'd hear the phrase "You're f*cking crazy. I cosmically sh*t my f*cking pants" in an X-Men movie. Let alone a TV movie.
    Yet, it does entirely seem meant for adults. Unless your parents read comic books meant for teenagers. I just don't get this movie. The story's awful. Maybe it was watching in on YouTube. I could never really grasp what was going on. Somehow, Tresh wanted to get a gene out of a mutant brain and but it into his brain in order to become a mutant. And, he used a dream machine to get it, I guess? And that machine somehow made his a mutant anyway? This is one of those movies, folks. It just tries to throw twists in no matter how stupid they are. 
    I'd get into the acting, but is it really necessary? Look, nobody is that great. Frewer is the best with his over-the-top Jim Carrey impression. Ratchford is the worst. Let's just say I really hope for his sake that that was a fake Scottish accent. Yes, Jubilee is Asian in the comic and is white here. Yes, they never use they're powers because they can barely afford the X-Men name. Look, the movie is terrible, but after all, I was the one who had to go and dig it up.

Also, watch out for a cameo by
Deputy Andy!
    There's a reason bad thing want to stay buried. Usually, it's because there bad. Generation X is no exception. It's obviously dated. The acting and characters are about as unlikable as they get. The story makes no sense what so ever. Look, if your just a casual film-goer, skip this one. But, if your a fan of X-Men or comic books in general, look for this one YouTube. Sure it sucks, but it is a pretty neat part of X-Men film history. Generation X gets 2 stars out of 6. 


  1. I wtched X-Men III: The Last Stand today.

    It pissed me off soooo much. They killed off characters that wheren't meant to die in the comics (including Xavier, which really got me pissed off), and it's just the way they killed them off that buggs me. You'd think that if they'd kiill Xavier it'd be in a great fight with Magneto. It was not. I hated how they killed off Scott (hell he was barely in the movie) Rogue was sidelined so she could give up her powers (another thing that never happened in the comics), and the whole movie just seems unnecessarily sad. Like Ultimatum and the Ultimate Universe. In fact I'm more than convinced this movie took place there. I like 1 +2, but three needs to be redone completely. What mroon wrote the script for this? Also where the fuck is Nightcrawler??? Did he pussy out? Oh, btw Colosso was in tht movie,,.. for like four secnds. Woop.

    And how they got rid of Mystique was just incredibly dicky that I almost now don't give a shit about any of the other X-Men movies, because they overall conclude in failure. Xavier doesn't win public acceptance. In fact he just heats it up by allowing Jean Grey to live, thus displaying her powerful unstable powers. Overall it's a poitless movie WORSE than Spider-man 3 that deserves to be burned forever. What really pisses me off is now there can be no X-Men IV, just prequels. Overall it didn't really seem like Marvel really tried at all to make this movie.. . good.

  2. My review comes out next Wednesday. Though, something tells me you won't be that happy with it...