Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Undefined Gamer: "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance"

Do we really need a second opinion
on this garbage?

    Coming in, I had big expectations for this. The trailer looked
pretty good (mainly for the effects), though it was a little
controversial thrusting Nicholas Cage into the role of Johnny Blaze.
Does it hold up? Well....
      This time around, Johnny Blaze is after the son of the devil, a
13 year old named Danny, before the devil transfers his soul to him,
erasing Danny's consciousness forever. However, Danny's mother's
ex-boyfriend (if you think that's a mouthful to digest, grab some alka
seltzers because the clusterf*ck is only getting started), hired by the
devil ironically, is set out to capture Danny. However the priest
Moreaut (if that's how you spell it), is also set to get Danny to stop
the Devil from walking on earth again. Moreaut runs into Johnny Blaze,
promising to lift his curse forever in exchange for the boy.
      And that was just the first 15 minutes. The real plot starts in a
fiery construction equipment showdown in which his mom's ex-boyfriend
is killed, and Cage reclaims the kid. The devil then reappears to a
dying survivor and makes a "deal" to spare his life, if he will get
Danny. He has also been blessed with the power to make things rot upon
his touch. Unsurprisingly, when he touches a Twinkie, it is totally

Finish him!
      But that's not all! After Blaze relinquishes the demon inside him,
the Spirit of Vengeance, he discovers it was merely an Angel who went
insane. So it is possible to convert this demon back to an angel. Not
long after, Danny is taken, for the body swapping ceremony (BTW, if
you're wondering how the Devil is Danny's dad, well, like Rotface
there, inches from death, she made a deal with him. And you can guess
what happens next.).
      Holy crap! My mind is still reeling from this Spambomb of plot!
Like the action sequences, while well made, they just seem
half-developed and go by so quick.  The main villain changes in a
blink of an eye for no apparent reason, and because there is so much
plot and so little time, there is precious little time for the viewer
to stop and think, "Wait, what the f*ck is going in here?". If this
movie was stretched out more, and slowed down, then
you'd have a better Ghost Rider movie.
      The acting for the most part, is pretty OK by superheroes standards
(what? Ghost Rider was a Marvel comic book first and foremost, so I
think it's fair to judge it by those standards). The only one who
really seems out of place is Cage, while he can really communicate to
the audience how depressing and terrible the Rider can be, the badass
moments, he just can't pull off. Yes people, they have Nicholas Cage
spouting one liners. And swearing. Had he been younger, those badass
moments might've worked, but as it is, they just fall flat.
      Visually, Ghost Rider can be stunning. It is shot very well, in
fact almost overdone as far as camera angles and cinematography go.
For special effects, well, have you seen the trailer? The only times
they look ridiculous is when you see Johnny Blaze go halfway between
the Rider and his human form, but for the most part, that's it.

Pictured: An audience member after a screening
of this film.
    Ghost Rider sure offers a lot of promise. It has oodles of
interesting plot points and concepts, paired with some of the finest
special effects available. Yet the plot is all over the place,
explanations are oft rushed, Nicholas Cage tries to act badass but
seems far too glum to make his one-liners work, and almost no other
acting performance really sticks out from the rest. Even the goddamn
devil seems emotionless and uninteresting. How did you do that? You
made Satan boring?!

Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance gets 2.5 stars out of 6

No comments:

Post a Comment