Review 132: "A Good Day to Die Hard"

I saw this movie? Are you sure?

So, That Happened...

      I think there is a central problem with A Good Day to Die Hard that makes it not only the worst film in  the Die Hard series and an all around weak action film in general. A Good Day to Die Hard is the first film in the series to actually be written as a Die Hard film. Originally, all four previous films started out as a script for an unrelated action film, before ultimately being turned into a Die Hard sequel. Seeing as how this one was written to be Die Hard 5 and feels nothing like a Die Hard film, it seems as if someone screwed up royally. And that person would be writer Skip Woods (X-Men Origins: Wolverine, because the crap didn't start here), who hopefully will never be allow to write anything ever again. But seeing as how he's already working on a new Hitman movie, those hopes are probably dashed. Directed by John Moore (Max Payne), the film follows John McClane (Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk) as he travels to Russia after discovering that that his son Jack (Jai Courtney, Spartacus: War of the Damned) has been arrested there. He learns that his son is actually a spy working to protect a man named Komarov (Sebastian Koch, Unknown) from his own daughter Irina (Yuliya Snigir, Inhabited Island).

A very clear family resemblance here.

Nothing to See Here

      I really like all of the Die Hard movies. Die Hard With a Vengeance was the first R-rated movie I ever saw. And while Live Free or Die Hard isn't great, it is a lot of fun. However, I can safely say that this feels as much like a Die Hard movie as a porcupine feels like a silk shirt. Now, granted, Die Hard movies are usually nothing more than a normal Bruce Willis action movie with Die Hard in the title, but they all had some common bonds, including smart, clever action scenes, a cool villain and above all else, the supremely likable everyman action hero John McClane. Here, those things appear to have left the building. I can remember most of what happened in the other Die Hard films, even though it's been a few years since I've seen some of them. But despite having only seen A Good Day to Die Hard less than 24 hours ago, I can't hardly remember most of the film. That's not just bad for Die Hard, that's bad for any movie.

Die Hard With a Whimper

      Perhaps the thing that stands out the most out of this movie was just how boring it was. After a mildly cool car chase in the beginning of the film, the rest of the film just went by without really any high points, until eventually I realized that the movie was at it's climax and I didn't even notice. My friend, who always turns his phone off in the movie, actually checked it toward the end and I can't say I blame him. And don't worry, he didn't bother anyone. I can't say for sure, but I think a large group of people sitting behind us walked out partway through the film. I had just seen so much of this movie before. It's not enough that the movie rips off a ton of modern action films, especially with some really obnoxious shaky cam. The movie even rips off itself.  Toward the middle of the movie, John and Jack are being shot at by a helicopter and to get away from it, the jump off a building onto something slightly dangerous. During the climax, John and Jack get shot at by a helicopter and get away by jumping off a building. I mean, when the writer you hired to write your movie seems to feel as if copy/paste is an acceptable tool when writing a film, he shouldn't be writing your movie.

This, surprisingly, isn't actually
in the movie.

The Verdict

      The less that's said about A Good Day to Die Hard the better. Look, it's very lame and nobody, even Die Hard fans, should really go see this movie. It won't effect how you feel about the previous films and I'm sure I'll still get excited when they announce Die Hard Another Day, because there is definitely a great action script ready to be turned into a great Die Hard movie. But, for now, this newest offering in the series is largely forgettable and never delivers on the great excitement of the original four films. Not even John McClane can save this movie, so really, why bother. A Good Day to Die Hard gets 2 stars out of 6.