Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Undefined Gamer: "Bionicle: The Legend Reborn"

Right. This is what killed Bionicle.

      In late 2009, to go along with this movie, Lego released the Bionicle
Legends sets. They bombed, due to the fact Lego did not make even one
TV ad for the sets, in fact there where barely any ads at all. Lego
saw this as if the story and characters where not desired anymore, and
as a result, in 2010, the Bionicle Stars figures (the last line),
received even less funding. Many people blame this movie for turning
fans off and bleeding the series dry. None of this was true, for lo
and behold the Hero Factory sets, using the EXACT SAME building system
as Bionicle are going strong, mainly because of their advertising
campaign. (Ads got nuttin' to do with it- CW.)
      This movie originally was planned to be part of a new Bionicle
trilogy, however due to Lego's failed ad campaign and the poor sales
that came as a result, the last two where scrapped. The basic
storyline of what would've been the 5th movie was released online for
free, ending the series.
      This one, Bionicle 4, takes place years and years after 3. The basic
plot is this: Mata Nui, the former god of the universe contained
within a gigantic robotic body, is banished from his universe by
Teridax, who seized control of his universe during the 2008 storyline.
Mata Nui's soul was sealed in the Mask of Life (which used to be the
most powerful mask in existence...), which hurtles through space into
the desertlike planet of Bara Magna. Using energy from the mask, Mata
Nui constructs himself a body and soon encounters the inhabitants of
this world.
      The size of Jupiter, Bara Magna is home to a variety of different
races: the Agori (weak villagers), the Glatorian (warriors that fight
one on one to solve disputes, instead of turning to war), the Skrall
(black headed weirdoes lead by a Teridax wannabee named Tuma), the
Bone Hunters (basically lost Skrall), and the Vorox (desert savages).

Is that his hand?
      The Skrall secretly are trying to conquer all of the Agori villages.
Mata Nui befriends Ackar, a fire Glatorian who plays the old badass;
Berix, the guilty scavenger; and Kiina, who should die right on the
spot for her annoying as shit voice. On his travels, it is revealed
Tuma has amassed an army, and as Mata Nui searches for a way to free
his people, the Skrall attack. And everyone gets their asses handed to
      Sneaking around in the ruins of a recently attacked village, the three
encounter Gresh, an air Glatorian who has no personality whatsoever.
The village, which happens to be Kiina's home (she deserves it),
houses underneath it secret ruins left by the Great Beings, the ones
who constructed the Matoran Universe Teridax now rules. Mata Nui, that
smart bastard, realizes that the Agori Village must unite to defeat
the Skrall!
      Mata Nui finds out that the Mask of Life has the power to unlock each
Glatorian's elemental power, and if you want me to explain why they
don't have access to that, well go f*ck yourself. There are literally
serials and serials on the subject. Anyways, Mata Nui unites the
villages, gives them elemental powers, Kiina and Berix get captured,
yadda yadda yadda, and Mata Nui has to battle the Skrall.
      Mata Nui faces Tuma in one of the worst fights in the series (it is
notorious for not living up to expectations in the community, as it is
the final fight essentially). The Skrall are driven back, and Mata
Nui realizes each village is made out of the rusted parts of the
Prototype to the Mata Nui robot. He gets the villagers to construct
it, and prepares for the final fight with Teridax.

Why, yes, we are third-rate Transformers!
      That was me watering down the plot there. And somehow they manages to
fit this into 1:45 with no ill effects on pacing. In fact, it seems
that there is not enough. It ends at an awkward place, and they
could've easily fitted in the final fight between Mata Nui and Teridax
that they saved for Bionicle Stars into this movie. The plot... I have
little problems with it. Sure, it's fan service, but it's good fan
      The humor sucks. Greg Farshety only had a year to write this. Lame
jokes are everywhere. The action is good, though, whereas the acting
is double sided. Mata Nui, voiced by a Star Trek veteran, did his job (Michael Dorn, if you're wondering- CW.)
rather well, while Kiina's actor wanted me to shove forks into my
      This is by no means a bad movie. Sure, it could've been better. Sure,
if you don't like Bionicle, this movie is not for you (except for the
opening 5 minutes. Those are great). Heck, it's not even the worst
Bionicle movie.
      Bionicle: The Legend Reborn has a lot of good in it. It has creative
fight scenes, creative Ratchet and Clanklike weapons, good animation,
a good storyline. However, mixed acting, bad humor, and its fan
service (despite the fact by leaving the Matoran Universe, it tries to
make everything new for viewers young and old) bog it down.
      It's not the best movie, nor the worst. It's one that you can make fun
of and appreciate at the same time. It's not a great intro to the
series, but then again it never was designed that way (the books are
the best intro to the series, because there is almost no censorship,
at least in the gory death scenes, for that booger stained ten year
old who uses the sets the same way he uses toilet paper).
In all, this movie lies in between the grand spectrum of things. And
yes, this is my fandom.

Bionicle: The Legend Reborn gets 3.5 stars out of 6

1 comment:

  1. Yes it is. It IS the worst BIONICLE movie dude! Everything about it is terrible. Well, almost. All the other ones had a certain charm that this one hasn't been able to capture at all, in my opinion at least. It sucks. And it's basically just a commercial running at a little over an hour.