Sunday, May 26, 2013

Review 165: "The Hangover Part III"

"I told myself, I would never come back."

No Hangover, No Comedy

      Ugh. I just... I mean... I... sigh. I just don't know what to even say. Does anything really need to be said?  As I said in my review of the first Hangover movie, it was a pretty good, not great film. The second one was an incredibly mindless rehash of the first one but darker and less funny. But at least that one was trying to be funny. This movie is just... ugh. Man, I paid money to see this! The third and supposedly final film in The Hangover series is once again directed by Todd Phillips (Old School) and written by him as well as Craig Mazin (Scary Movie 4). It follows Phil (Bradley Cooper, Hit and Run), Stu (Ed Helms, Cedar Rapids) and Doug (Justin Bartha, National Treasure) as they travel to take Alan (Zach Galifianakis, The Campaign) to a rehab center after he stops taking his meds. However, on the way there, gangster Marshall (John Goodman, Argo) kidnaps Doug and threaten to kill him if the "Wolf Pack" can't track down Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong, Zookeeper) and some stolen gold. Because if The Hangover needed anything, it was kidnappings and murder.

He's becoming Tonto!
Characters Shmaracters

      It's almost not even worth it. I mean, the might as well have just done another hangover and been done with it. The problem with The Hangover sequels is that the characters were created to be one-dimensional in order for the comedy in the first film to work. So making sequel in which we are now supposed to actually care about the characters is just an awful idea. Who cares if Doug is kidnapped? The other films never bothered to make him an actual character. Alan is just crazy enough for the scene he's in, so there goes consistency. Phil and Stu never have any problems to overcome, so they are essentially just along to move the plot forward. The actors are trying and they are still good, but they are just lost trying to make any part of this movie interesting. But they just can't. The movie is just so uninteresting that the only reason these film should exist is if they are funny. But they can't even bother with that.

Let's Kill Some Animals

      The movie's solution to not having an actual hangover is simple to make the darkest possible storyline ever. Because as we all know, it's always a good thing when a pretty straight comedy decides to become an action thriller in it's sequels. The film does have the occasional moment where it looks like a joke might get a chuckle out of you if you're drunk on a Wednesday, but it seems they forgot to put any humor in this movie whatsoever. Instead it's replaced with a terrible excuse for a story, with the characters finding Chow, losing Chow, finding Chow, losing Chow several times over, all while people are murdered, men in pig masks kidnap people and animals are slaughtered. Seriously, I can't think of a single animal in this movie that didn't die at some point in this film. Except for that damn monkey every film seems to think is hilarious. And the movie thinks this is funny. The worst part is is the fact that they do make jokes. And they're terrible. I mean, terrible. This is the kind of movie where when anyone in the audience laughs, your faith in humanity dies a little. And the post-credits scene. I just... I think I'm going to cry now.

How are they floating?!?
The Verdict

      The Hangover Part III sucks hard. But you should have already know that. The film drops the hangover stories and instead goes oddly enough into action thriller territory, with enough murders and kidnappings to depress Jason Bourne. The characters are even more one-dimensional and unlikable then before and worse still the movie never seems to grasp the fact that it's a "comedy", so we're left with a painfully unfunny film that's almost painful to watch. So, can we all not pay any more money to see this movie. Please. I really don't want to hear the explanation for the post-credits scene. The Hangover Part III gets 1 and a half stars out of 6.

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