Sunday, February 2, 2014

Review 239: "The Frankenstein Theory"

From the creators of 
The Last Exorcism.


      The Frankenstein Theory is a 2013 found-footage film based on the Frankenstein story by Mary Shelley. If you haven't heard of this film, there's a reason for that. The film is directed by newcomer Andrew Weiner, who also co-wrote the film with Valdy Pildysh (Alien Agent). The film follows Venkenhein (Kris Lemche), a scientist who hires a documentary crew lead by friend Vicky (Heather Stephens) to follow him and he searches for the Frankenstein Monster, who he believes is real. Along for the ride are crewmen Eric (Eric Zuckerman) and Kevin (Brian Henderson) and guide Karl (Timothy V. Murphy), who all head out to the Canadian wilderness to find the beast. You know, normal documentary stuff.

Well there's your problem.
Theory? More Like Boring Theory.

      Look, I honestly don't have anything against Frankenstein. Really. I liked the original classic a lot. Just because the last two movies I reviewed on this website both involved Frankenstein and were both pretty bad doesn't mean I have anything against the story. Well, at least not now anyway. So, yeah, I was looking on Netflix for a good Frankenstein movie and... I didn't find one. And even worse, I didn't even find an interesting one. The Frankenstein Theory is about as boring as it gets. It plays out in a documentary style similar to something a museum would make to play in the background. Of the children's area. I mean, seriously. Nothing happens in the movie. At all. Period. 

Sit and Reach

      In all seriousness, most of the movie is of the documentary crew sitting somewhere, talking about whether or not something was Frankenstein's Monster. They hear a noise, then ask if it was the monster. Find footprints, wonder if it was the monster. Get attacked, wonder if it was the monster. For about an hour and fifteen minutes. Then, finally, the realize it's the monster. Then talk about how they are going to reason with it. I think we see the monster for 20, maybe 30 seconds total. It's a lesson everybody should know. There's a difference from being subtle and building up atmosphere and being freaking boring. You can't build an atmosphere when nothing happens to make one. Unless the atmosphere they were going for was "boring class trip to look at trees" was what they were going for. The by all means, great job.

Whoa, slow down, something might... happen!
The Verdict

      The Frankenstein Theory is about as lifeless as the monster himself. Virtually nothing happens during the runtime of this film, leaving the characters with nothing to do but talk about what we already knew or what we just saw. Even when something happens, it's for a few fleeting seconds before we get more endless, poorly written dialogue. But at least the found footage style is still alive and kicking. Ugh. The Frankenstein Theory gets 2 and a half stars out of 6.

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