Thursday, December 8, 2011

NEW SERIES: Modern Art: Episode 1: Vanilla Extract

I know I have been a slacker lately due to the holiday and a major school project I have to finish. However to make it up to you guys, how about I introduce an all new bi-weekly series. Sound good? Good. Without further ado, here's Modern Art, Episode 1!

    The rap world has been in a state of perpetual imperfectness for the last few years. Gone are the days where we were hanging by the edge of our seats listen to the groundbreaking raps of Tupoc and Eminem. Now our feeble musical lives are being soured by the deplorable sounds of Lil Wayne and Eminem. the has been little in the way of a shining beacon to guide our wayward musical shepards on there way to meet Baby Rap Jesus. However, for the pool of talent and virtue of YouTube comes that very beacon of light, to guide our way to Rap Jesus.

     Vanilla Extract, or as he likes to be called when he's not rapping sweet, sweet alliterations, Lord Fresh Beatz of Berkshire, is the latest God among musical men. The fact that he just exists make the rapping world seem more animated. His first of what will be infinite hit singles, At the Bull Fights off of his first record-fragmenting album, Off-White Hits, is a true masterepic of our time and will be commemorated for generation upon generations.
    The song has so many high points it is not even knee-slapping, but I suppose looking at the lyrics is as good a place as any to start. The rap opens with the lines:
                                                 Chillin' at the bull fights,
                                                 You know this rap be so tight.
                                                 To be specific I'm in Pampolna, Spain,
                                                 The people here must be insane.

    Here he tell us about the rich history of the bull fights for which the title lovingly recognizes. The mind-boggling fact like the fact that the bulls fights take place in Pampolna, Spain and... well, the fact that the bull fights are in Spain makes me truly stand in wonderment of Mr. Extract. And, yes, Mr. Extract, your rap is so tight.

                                                 They're messing with the bulls,
                                                 They're gonna get the horns.
                                                 And those horn,
                                                 Feel just like thorns.
                                                 He got the horns and he's probably gonna die.

    Here, Lord Extract regales us with his truly fanciful looks at death and the daring Devil Men that face Death square in his tanned, muscular jaw line. the fact that he changes his rhyme scheme in these line show us how much King Extract loves to keep listeners on their tippy-toes. I was on my tippy-toes so much they broke. But it was worth it just to here more of his lyrical skillz.
    After this he tells us about ryhmes. He showcases just much magnificent his rhymes are. They are so funky fresh my it's like they have justcome out of Extract's musical vagina. Pop cultural refrenence straight out of 2002 give this song a very timeless feeling. Plus, the inventon of the "Swag Wagon" is just genuis. For years I have been look for a term like this, but I have just been using "Items-That-Belong-To-Myself  Vehicual-Transportation-Device-With-Wheels".
    The rest of the sone continues as he tackles such controversial subjects as killing the bull and how to unlight a match. His rap just never lets up, even when he adds pauses in the lyrics, almost like he's reading the lyrics off of notes or something of that persuation.
    The music video should not be scoffed at either. Extract's video is easily the best of all time, trumping Michael Jackson's Thriller and Britney Spear's Toxic.  The times when he slides backwards up stairs is clearly meant to show how he want to return the rap world to where it once was. When he sybolically unlight that match, I shed a tear, for I knew that he was saying that he fears he will be shallowed up by the villianous forces that are the current raping and rhytum industry.
    Overall, Vanilla Extract is ushering in a new wave of talent and hope the like of which were last seem when Michael Bay directed Transformers. I feel utter uphoria whenever I hear the sounds of pure passion and emotion Saint Extract raps. His career is sure to be long and fruitful
    Before we leave to our own humble abodes, let me leave you with this piece of advice, "Those who like birds more then cats, should get a bird." I'm Alexander and this was Modern Art.

P.S. Seriously, the video is funny and the raps pretty good. Overall, it's very nicely done.

No comments:

Post a Comment