Monday, November 19, 2012

The Undefined Gamer: "Drawn to Life: Spongebob Squarepants Edition" Review

That's funny. The Undefined Gamer also
live in a pineapple under the sea.
 

    Drawn to Life. Personally, I never played it. So why the hell do I
have the sequel? You tell me!
    I came into this game with very low expectations. Extremely low
expectations. That sorta happens when the only recognizable title is
THQ, who are by no means known for there quality. But lo and behold it
is a platformer on a Nintendo system! By god, I think this baby has a
chance!
    One thing I like about this game: You make the sprites! If you
want your characters to be a giant floating penis, well then just go
on ahead and do it! If you want your penis to put on bouncy shoes that
look like a bisected baby, then go ahead! If you want to put on a
Minja mask that looks strangely like Chuck Norris's face, you can go
ahead!
 
Really? That's your hero.
Fishy Jason Statham?
    No censorship can be terribly fun (there really should've been an
online version of this game. Insert troll face here), and because the
character supplies a lot of the animated sprites, graphical issues are
sidestepped completely. The level designs are creative, and the game
really works as a good sidescroller, though the quantity of the levels
are dangerously low. There are only about 5 worlds, including the
bonus one, which have about only 5 levels each. The game goes by just
way too fast. It tries to utilize the stylus, but controls are
sometimes poor, so as a result some levels aren't really worth
replaying.
    Now for the story. Doodlebob has stolen the magic pencil and has
ran away, creating havoc and leaving evil scribble gunk everywhere,
that you must clean up, defended by evil doodles. Naturally,
Spongebob, just like in the cartoon *sarcasm alert* has created
another doodle, dubbed Doodlepants (the main character), to stop
Doodlebob, who has also kidnapped characters from the show such as
Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Patrick's fake parents, and Mrs. Puff. And as you
guessed it, only the 1st level takes place in the Bikini Bottom, with
the vast majority of the others taking place in bullsh*tty, made-up
levels such as the Jungle (no, not the Kelp Forest. That'd be too cool
and true to the show), The Depths (no, its not called Rock Bottom,
though it should), the Moon (Sandy... is barely there. Also apparently
there is a Moon Base there.), and the extra "Doodle World", which
although has only 2 levels, is the most creative and challenging of
all.
    Spongebob and Patrick barely do anything, and it is barely true to
the show. Yet the gameplay bolsters it above THQ's other piles of
rotting sh*t. The game us fun, what can I say? Being able to play as
your own hand-drawn penis is well worth it. The game, to be great,
just needs to double the number of levels and quite this gimmicky
crap, (honestly we did not need you weirdos to integrate Spongebob
into this. No. Spongebob should stay away from video games). The
soundtrack is... alright, it suites the spongebob mood, although some
songs from the show could be a good touch (Is it the best day ever,
anyone?), although it is true every song on the soundtrack sounds
basically the same, as they are played on the same array of
instruments.

Spongebob has been murdered!
    This is not a good game. The storyline is horsesh*t, the
continuity is weak, and the soundtrack is ok. Yet this is a fun game,
and had it not relied on Spongebob like its predecessor and added a
few more levels, it could've been great. Honestly. I can see a great
Drawn to Life Game around the corner (hell jusy hand it to Nintendo.
They'll make a great 3DS game out of it yet. Even better, make it an
IPad game).

Drawn To Life: Spongebob Squarepants Edition gets 3.5 stars out if 6

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