Monday, November 26, 2012

The Undefined Gamer: "We Bought a Zoo" Review

I bought a zoo once.
It lacked wimsy.
    A man buys a zoo shortly after his wife dies. He has two kids.
Are you sure I'm not watching a Disney Channel Movie?
   We Bought a Zoo follows Benjamin Mee, who has well, bought a zoo,
after things where not going well at home. His son for one, has
recently gotten expelled for stealing and drawing gore that falls
borderline on porn in some cases. Heavily affected by his mother's
death, the movie also functions as a father-son reconnecting movie.
    But for some reason wharever dumbf*cks wrote this script, thought
a movie where a mother has just died should be set up as a romantic
comedy. So yes, Benjamin falls for the zookeeper and his son her
daughter. That's two loads of romantic bullcrap, or in this case
lioncrap! Which would be fine, except you can tell the family is
going through a lot of pain, and they try, and
fail, to make jokes about it, but usually it just comes out as
horrible dark humor (they think it's funny how a realitor reacts to
hearing how their potential buyers, on his first day no less,
reacts to hearing that their wife has passed. Somebody go throw the
writers into the lion pen. Now).
Extreme staring contest.
The loser is dinner.
    Don't get me wrong, some of the jokes work, and are quite
hilarious, but they are overshadowed by those that don't. The movie
does have some charm to it, and has elements of a heartwarming family
tale, especially whenever furry animals are involved, but yet again
this clashes with beer, dead mother, and even jokes about finding out
the easter bunny isn't real (seriously?).
    The romance bits are rushed and often forgot about due to the
fact that they are incorporated inconsistently throughout the film.
This movie, although not painful, definately was not worth a watch. I
wish I had gotten those two hours of my life back. Two. That's a good
way to rate this movie. It's not lethal, but has very little good
things to say about it. Thou hast been rated, movie of lionsh*t! Thou
fate hast been sealed to rot in eternal twodom!
The Avengers, Bourne and Madagascar
all on the same screen.
We Bought a Zoo gets 2 stars out of 6

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