Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Extrava-Christmas: "A Christmas Story 2"

Cinema Won takes on a classic.
Oh wait. The direct-to-DVD sequel to a classic.
    What's the Story?
    Yes, they made a sequel. Not that it's the only one. In fact, A Christmas Story wasn't even the first in the series. See, A Christmas Story 2 is actually the seventh tale of Ralphie. However, since A Christmas Story was the most popular and this is a numerical sequel, so everybody's got their knickers in a twist. This time around 16-year-old Ralphie (Braeden Lemasters) accidentally crashes his dream car while still in the dealers lot, so he and his friends Schwartz (David Buehrle) and Flick (David W. Thompson) attempt to raise up the money in order to repair it. Meanwhile The Old Man (Daniel Stern) and Mother (Stacey Travis) deal with money issues, Ralphie develops a crush on Drucilla (Tiera Skovbye) and Randy (Valin Shinyei) does nothing of value.
Remember this?
Can This Possibly Be Any Good?
    A little bit. Look, let's get it off our chests. A Christmas Story 2 is a blatant cash-grab praying the fans of the original come for the nostalgia. The film borrows so much from the original that it could almost be a remake. Yes, the lamp makes a return. Yes, Flick gets his tongue stuck. Yes, someone where a silly costume on Christmas Day. No, there, surprisingly, isn't a reference to the BB gun, though I doubt that was a moment of restraint on the filmmakers part.
    No, the actors don't do a very good job and there isn't a single person better here than in the original. They all try, but really, any actor would falter when compared to the original cast. And yet they do at east try. Perhaps the greatest thing about A Christmas Story 2 is that it's so meh. For a sequel to a beloved holiday classic, it is about as inoffensive as it gets. The movie isn't very funny, but it's not painfully unfunny either. I never laughed like I did in the original, but I never wanted to pull my teeth out and the movie did get a chuckle or two every now and again.
    The story is fine. It's standard fair. There is a moral to learn (Don't be a son of a bitch!), the characters all get what they deserve with little character development needed. The only real positive aspect of the sequel is that the production value is surprisingly high. The film has really accurate and detailed sets and at the very least the film is nice to look at.
This too right? You remember this too.
What is the Verdict?
    A Christmas Story 2 is a completely unnecessary, completely pointless and completely harmless sequel. It's not funny, the acting isn't very good and the story is utterly cliched. However, the film does look real nice and does have a few bright spots in between the otherwise lazy moments. Overall, A Christmas Story 2 is just decent. And isn't that the true Christmas miracle?
A Christmas Story 2 get 3 Christmas presents out of 6. 

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